A Bleak Forever
by xXaFireInsideXx
Summary: This is my first ever fanfic. Severus has just lost his one and only friend Lily. But what will happen when he makes a new friend? Should he be making a new friend? Or is he just going to make another mistake and put himself through more depression?
1. Haunting Memories

**A/N: I actually wrote this quite a while ago but I've never been game enough to upload it. But my awesome friends Melina and Nadia compelled me to finally post it because they believed it had potential. So thanks guys!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my OC. Everything else is from the mastermind JK Rowling.**

Severus sat in his usual seat in the dank potions class down in the dungeons. He had arrived early to class and was able to dwell upon last year's events that still haunted him. Nothing had caused him to be this miserable in his entire life, not even witnessing his parents' violence. He had now lost his one and only friend, Lily Evans, the beautiful redhead who had been a part of his life since he was ten. Severus missed staring into her piercing green eyes and feeling as though he would never be lonely again. This would be his first year at Hogwarts in which she wouldn't be there to comfort him while the Marauder's played their dirty pranks on him.

And it was all because of one word; Mudblood. The word that changed it all, the reason why he sat alone at his table that morning. The memory of their falling apart came flooding through his mind again ...

"_I'm sorry."_

"_I'm not interested."_

"_I'm sorry!"_

"_Save your breath," said Lily, angrily, arms folded and standing in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady in her dressing gown, "I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here."_

"_I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just –" _

"_Slipped out?" _The present Snape winced at her harsh tone_. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends – you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"_

_He opened his mouth, but closed it without speaking. _The present Snape kicked himself for not coming up with anything to say.

"_I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."_

"_No – listen, I didn't mean –"_

"_- to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"_

_He struggled on the verge of speech, but with a contemptuous look, she turned and climbed back trough the portrait hole ... _The present Snape once again sighed in exasperation at his feeble attempt to win her back.

However, he came back to his senses as several students walked into the room. Among them was Potter, his untidy black hair sticking up at the back as he joked with Black while Lupin followed. Obviously, Pettigrew didn't make it to N.E.W.T. standard potions. They made their way to a table on the other side of the room.

Just then, a flicker of dark red hair caught his eye. Lily had arrived to class, and although Severus wasn't surprised to see her not walking towards his table, he was still shocked to see her make her way towards ...

_Potter_, the arrogant toerag and his army of smarmy trolls. Anger surged through his body as she sat down at their table. Severus could just hear their conversation.

"Lily! What are _you _doing here?!" a shocked Potter asked.

"Ask me that one more time, and I'll slap you and move away to another table," replied Lily.

Severus smiled at her wit, but then wiped the grin off his face almost immediately once he realised that she wasn't his friend anymore, and it was all because of him.

No, it was Potter's fault. Potter had provoked him. Potter knew that he would say something stupid once he was hanging upside down in the air, graying underpants showing ...

The only way Severus would feel better, is if he gained power. Lots of power, like the Dark Lord. But this was one of the reasons why Lily had left him. He mustn't take the wrong path. But Lily was out of the question. Nobody was there to stop him now.

Severus was snapped out of his thoughts once again when Evanna Prewett, a Gryffindor student and friend of Lily's, took her seat at his table.

"Radford away?" she asked politely, referring to the lanky Hufflepuff boy who usually sat with them and Lily.

Severus grunted and nodded stiffly.

At that moment, Professor Slughorn entered the class, his belly preceding him through the door.

"Oho, my young potion-makers! Congratulations all, for making it to N.E.W.T. level potions. And since you are all so advanced in this subject, we'll start straight away on the tough potions. This lesson, we shall be brewing the Draught of Living Death, page 10. So, chop, chop. Off to work!

Severus set to work at once, gathering all the ingredients he needed from the store cupboard. He was first to arrive back to his cauldron at the back of the room, and he began cutting up his valerian roots straight away. A few minutes later, Slughorn, made his way around the classroom, occasionally stopping to comment on a few students' progress.

"Going well, MacDonald," he said to a Gryffindor girl, but scrunched up his face when he looked into her friend's cauldron. He then passed the table where Potter's gang and Lily sat. He simply nodded at Potter's, Black's and Lupin's, ready to be astounded by Lily's potion. However, his face fell when he peered into her cauldron.

"Not up to your usual standard today, Lily," Slughorn said, a little disappointed. Severus sneered. She could no longer depend on his extraordinary skills at potions. "Not to worry, not to worry. You're probably still in holiday mode."

By the time Slughorn reached Severus' table, his potion had already turned a deep blackcurrant colour, the ideal halfway stage.

"Marvellous, Severus! You're certainly not still in holiday mode!" exclaimed Slughorn, "Whizzing through yet another potion. Well done, well done."

Slughorn moved on to Evanna's cauldron and frowned slightly.

"I'm sorry Miss Prewett, but you'll have to work harder if you wish to become a famous Auror like your parents."

Severus looked up.

"Yes, sir," said a helpless, upset Evanna.

"I'll help her, Professor," Severus said, speaking up for the first time.

"Thank you, Severus," replied Slughorn, as he walked off.

"Hand me your sopophorous beans. I'll cut them for you."

Evanna slid them across the table and Severus began crushing them with the flat side of his silver dagger.

"Why are you doing that? She asked, alarmed.

"It releases the juices better."

"Really?"

"Yes. Here, you try," he said, dropping the crushed beans into her cauldron while he slid the rest of them back to her.

Severus continued to help her throughout the lesson and almost forgot that he had his own potion to brew. As he was adding new notes to his _Advanced Potion Making_ book, Evanna unexpectedly said, "Lily's a git."

"What?" said a dumbfounded Severus.

"She's angry with you for no apparent reason."

"Are you kidding?" he hissed, "I called her a mudblood. She has every right to be angry with me."

"You were being _humiliated_ in front of half the school! What choice did you have? Let a girl stand up for you, and show everyone how weak you were, or stand up for yourself? And obviously, if you're hanging upside down," _with your underpants exposed_ she thought to herself, "you're not going to be able to think straight."

Severus was taken aback. Could it be that there was someone who understood the ways of Severus Snape?

"But still," said Severus, "I called her a mudblood. There's no excuse for that."

"And it's not something that you would never speak to a person again for," Evanna interrupted.

Severus lowered his gaze. "I suppose," was all he could manage to say before-

"And time's up, everyone!" Slughorn boomed, "Collect some of your potion in a glass vial and bring it to the front to be marked."

Severus quickly added the last ingredient to his potion, gave it two clockwise stirs and then an anti-clockwise stir, which made it turn a light shade of lilac. He then gave his vial to Slughorn, and wandered back to his seat to fetch his schoolbag.

"Thank you so much for your help, Severus."

Severus turned around to see Evanna standing behind him. "Anytime," he replied.

"Really?" she said, face lighting up, "Because I was thinking that maybe I need a tutor for Potions since Slughorn keeps going on about how good my parents were. It sort of diminishes my self-esteem, you know, and seeing as you're best in the class at potions, I would be very grateful if you could help me ... Only if you want to, that is," she added, quickly.

"Of course," he agreed, and Evanna beamed.

**A/N: Reviews are kindly welcome. If you have any constructive critisism, please let me know. I'm always looking for ways in which I can improve.**


	2. A Ray of Hope

Severus and Evanna sat in the quiet library, poring over potions books.

"You know, we really should get started on McGonagall's essay," suggested Severus.

Evanna gasped. "I almost forgot! It's due this Thursday, isn't it?"

Severus nodded, briskly.

"Oh, but this is so interesting," she said, referring to _Magical Drafts and Potions_.

"Come on, we need to get started on it," said Severus as he pulled _Guide to Advanced Transfiguration _out of his bag. "McGonagall's essays are always difficult.

Evanna sighed. "Yeah, you're right," she said, whilst pulling out her own copy of the textbook.

It was only the third week of their sixth year, and already they were beginning to feel the heavy burden of all their homework. Severus and Evanna had only managed to squeeze in two of their tutoring lessons together amongst the forever growing pile of assignments. Their transfiguration essay seemed particularly difficult, _'Describe the exact techniques required for animal transfiguration. No less than 2 feet and 6 inches.'_

However, as Severus pretended to be reading his textbook, his mind wasn't on animal transfiguration at all. He honestly thought that after Lily, he would have no real friends ever again. Never before had anyone except Lily wanted to have anything to do with him. A narrow ray of hope lightened his depression a little. But Evanna was only hanging around him because she needed help with potions. She would never want to become his friend. He guessed that the only 'friends' he'd have would be Avery and Mulciber and to fit in with them, he'd had to become obsessed with the Dark Lord too.

But Severus couldn't help but feel that she understood him almost like Lily had.

"Severus?" said Evanna, a little concerned, "are you alright?"

Severus jumped up in surprise. He had almost forgotten that she was sitting right next to him.

"Yes, yes of course I am," he replied a tad too quickly.

Evanna analysed his face. "You just look a bit ... dejected."

"I'm fine, honestly. I -"

"You mustn't follow the Dark Arts, Sev," Evanna interjected, "It's the wrong thing to do. You know it!"

Severus was flabbergasted. _How did she know?_ "Who said I was going to follow the Dark Lord?" Severus said, not quite meeting her eyes. Now Severus was certain. She understood him just as well as Lily had. Whether this was a good or bad thing, he didn't know.

When Severus didn't answer, she said, "You really like Lily, don't you?"

Evanna was truly starting to scare Severus now. "Liked" he corrected, stressing the 'd'.

"No, no. You still do. I can see it in your eyes. Take potions class, for instance. Don't think I didn't notice how miserable you looked _and_ the way you kept glancing over at her."

When Severus continued to have a lack of words to say, Evanna spoke up again.

"Look, maybe I could knock some sense into Lily and let her see how harsh she is being to you," she suggested, "And possibly even prove to her what a bunch of ratbags Potter and his friends are."

This was truly an offer that Severus couldn't refuse. A second chance. Or a shot at it anyway.

After eating as much kidney pie as possible, Evanna made her way up the moving staircases to Gryffindor tower. She had promised Severus that she would talk to Lily tonight and convince her to the best of her ability.

Evanna entered the portrait hole and scanned the room for Lily. She let out a sigh of relief when she saw her sitting by herself at a table in the far corner, struggling with some homework.

"Perfect," she thought to herself and made her way towards the table.

"Hey, Lils," Evanna greeted her. "Cruel teachers, eh?"

Lily looked up in surprise. "Oh, hi Evanna," she said sleepily. "Yeah, but whoever invented N.E.W.T.s is even crueller."

"I have to agree with you on that."

At that moment, the 'Marauders' climbed through the portrait hole. Evanna let out a quiet sound of disgust and eyed them angrily.

"Probably just come back from one of their _clever_ pranks," said Evanna, sarcasm highly evident in her usually kind voice.

"Mmm. But I do think that they're becoming less severe with their pranks now," Lily said quietly.

"Less severe?!" exclaimed Evanna through gritted teeth, "Don't tell me you've forgotten that afternoon we finished our Defence Against the Dark Arts O.W.L.!

"How on earth could I forget that? Or the consequences of that? But anyway, it happened last year."

"Last year, meaning two months ago!"

"But they would have matured over the summer. Well, a little."

Evanna raised her eyebrows. "If you say so ..."

After a short pause while Evanna tried to think of the best way to bring up the topic, she said, "But don't you think that you're being a little unsympathetic towards Severus?" as casually as she could.

"What do you mean?" questioned Lily, a little apprehensive.

"Well, you know, you were his first and only friend for about five years, weren't you?"

Lily gave her a peculiar look, as if daring her to continue. Evanna noticed this look and threw caution to the winds.

"A-and, don't you think that since you have known each other for so long, you will be able to, er, forgive and forget?" Evanna said tentatively.

"Actually, it's quite the opposite. You see, after all these years, I thought we were the best of friends, and then he goes ahead and insults me! Right after I had tried to help him!"

Evanna was beginning to think more and more that this was a bad idea and desperately tried to take a different turn on the matter.

"Well, what about Potter? Humiliating Severus in front of half the school! It was like torture! How could anyone be so cruel? And what was the reason he gave for it?" said Evanna in mock puzzlement, "Oh, I remember. '_It's more the fact that he exists.' _And then he thinks that he can just go and ask you out in exchange for leaving Severus alone! I've never _seen_ anyone so conceited!"

Lily was so shocked by Evanna's unexpected outburst, that she was speechless for a few seconds. Suddenly, she stood up and for a split second, Evanna thought she was going to snap.

"You're right," she finally said, "I've been far too forgiving with James. Thank you, Evanna, for bringing me back to my senses. I don't know what happened to me over the summer. I must have been so glad that the holidays were here ..." she said as she wandered off, heading for the portrait hole.

A sigh of relief escaped from Evanna.

"Hey Evans, care for a game of Exploding Snap?" James called out.

"Go away, Potter! I don't want to talk to you!" Lily shouted back, without turning around.

Evanna, who was still recovering from her outburst, heard James say to Sirius, "I don't get it Padfoot, one minute she comes and joins us of her own accord, and the next, she runs away from us. It's as if I've done something wrong."

"_Oh really?_" Evanna said under her breath.


End file.
